Black People Speak decided to measure the strength of Black couples and their relationships. We asked questions that only individuals can answer and do not reveal any one person or their responses, but compiled the results into an interesting read.

We asked 166 individual Black men and women the following questions. No answer is for men only or women only or for couples to answer as one, but is geared toward knowing the minds of people in relationships today.

Questions and Responses

When in search of a mate or spouse, what are the first physical attributes of compatibility do you or would you look for in that person? (Choose 2)

Looks Height Shape Neatness Taste in clothes All of the above None of the above

19.61% 7.84% 7.84% 17.65% 1.96% 39.22% 5.88%

When in search of a mate or spouse, what are the first psychological attributes of compatibility do you or would you look for in that person? (Choose 2)

Intelligence Humor Kindness Honesty Moodiness All of the above None of the above

28.81% 13.56% 13.56% 15.25% 1.69% 27.12% 0.00%

In either of the above questions, more people replied they look for any or all of the above attributes when in search of a spouse. Most interesting though is among the highest responses aside from "all of the above," looks and intelligence ranked on top. Should we be concerned about what Black men and women look for in one another, or would this seem typical in today's society.

If you are currently in a relationship or marriage or were at one time, do/did you find yourself desiring or becoming attracted to other people?

Yes, sometimes No, not at all No answer

52.63% 34.21% 13.16%

This was a tempting question with the most revealing answers. More people 52% responded that they were attracted to and or desired someone else at one time or another during their marriage or relationship. However, a good amount 34% admitted to not having those type desires toward others. This shows a slight weakness in loyalty among Black relationships.

If you are currently in a relationship or marriage, or were at one time, do/did you sometimes regret it?

Yes, sometimes No, never No answer

57.89% 26.32% 15.79%

This also, was a probing question that brought forth a surprising answer. It reveals that the majority 57% of Black relationships were not built on solid ground as opposed to only 26% that seemed to withstand trials and tribulations. We must ask ourselves if when looking for that someone special, are we becoming too superficial and not more practical.

If you are in a committed relationship now, have you cheated on your spouse or mate?

Yes, I have No, have not I have been seriously tempted No answer

15.79% 52.63% 13.16% 18.42%

In total trust of the respondents answers, BPS found that 52% of people did not cheat in their relationship while 15% admitted to cheating, 13% being seriously tempted, and with 18% having no answer, which is presumptuously counted as guilt. It is good that more have not cheated on their spouses - however tempted by or attracted to others - but did remain faithful.

Do you currently know of friends who are married or in committed relationships that have cheated on their spouse?

Yes, I do No, do not No answer

71.79% 23.08% 5.13%

Ironically, more people know of friends who have cheated while in a relationship 71%, yet not as many who were asked actually admitted to cheating. Seems strange at the numbers. Nevertheless, 23% do not know anyone who has cheated on their spouse, which shows another solid stone in the homes of Black relationships.

Have you ever left someone and later regret it?

Yes, I have No, have not No answer

43.59% 46.15% 10.26%

In the above results, more people 46% did not leave a relationship and later regret it but running a close second was 43% who did later regret leaving someone. The remaining 10% refused to answer.

Conclusion
From the above results, the Black relationship is teetering on the brink of failure, if more people seek spouses based on superficial attributes, find themselves attracted to others during their relationship, and have been seriously tempted to cheat on their spouse. And according to the fact that more people know others who have cheated does not say a lot for Black relationship loyalty.

We must take our relationships seriously, seek people who would be best for us and our future instead of how they look with us, and we must think toward the security of our children and be careful to maintain good, long-lasting and strong relationships. We at Black People Speak suggest to the Black couple that they stand strong together and to the singles, search for someone who will be with you forever and who you want to be with for a lifetime.

© Feb. 2008 Black People Speak